Amsterdam.

...is a city with really, really few things I didn't like. In fact, now that I think about it, I can't think of one thing I didn't. It's one of those places that are extremely easy to fall in love with, in every possible way - very European but at the same time very different. It's like a European version of San Francisco, just as beautiful but smaller and easier to handle. Vivid colors, bohemian and artistic lifestyle, international and very laid-back atmosphere. To me, pretty much perfect.

Four days turned out to pass by extremely fast, yet I still had time to do and see a lot. In the end it seemed like longer period of time than what it really was, in a good way.

Also, travelling on my own turned out to be no problem at all - just the opposite, actually. 

So what did I do?

On friday Marianna stopped by the city on her way to another part of the country and we got to spend the afternoon together, strolling around the canals and the Red Light District. After she left, taking hundreds and hundreds of pictures, walking around, (window)shopping, sitting at small cafés and just listening to the sounds of the city and enjoying the heat and the atmosphere was what I mostly did during the day time. On my own I also got to check out some must-see tourist attractions and art exhibitions - Madame Tussauds, Richard Avedon photo gallery (which was one of the many peaks of the weekend, Avedon being my very favorite photographer ever) and - believe it or not, one does exist - The Museum of Marijuana, which cost 7 euros to get in and turned out not to be really worth the money since they didn't even give out free samples. But at least I can say that I've been there.

Speaking of marijuana, it really was absurd at first to walk around and smell cannabis everywhere you went. After a while you got used to it - it's a vital part of their culture and, what surprised me the most, there were no messed up people anywhere. It's just something that they do, spending time at coffee shops smoking weed and having a good time without getting all fucked up and running around the city making fools of themselves, oh no. Sure that's something that definitely would happen if, for instance, Finland decided to loosen up the limitations. But that's the thing, over there people are proud of it and deal with it with obvious respect - they even have marijuana vending machines and yet the most messed up person I saw was myself.

Another thing that makes Amsterdam really stand out of the crowd is the almost ridiculous amount of bicycles.

Seriously, to a foreigner like me it seemed almost insane at first to have a better chance of getting hit by a bike than a car. It's absolutely fantastic - think about how much better place this world would be environmental-wise if all the cities in the world followed the example that Amsterdam is giving out?

20c degrees outside seemed like a heaven to me. In Finland the snow has barely melted while in the Netherlands people are walking around in T-shirts and sandals, even though we're just 2 hours of flying apart from each other. Not fair!

On Sunday my old Swedish friend Maria, her room mates and me got together at Vondelpark, the biggest park in town, to have a picnic and just lie in the sun, listening to some mellow sunday-music, drinking sunday-coffee and enjoying the perfect sunday-weather.

And sure, there was the partying. And, quite frankly, it was some awesome-ass partying we did.

On friday and sunday nights my hostel room mates, Natalia and Ekatarina from Russia and Ingrida from Latvia, took me out. We had dinners at Greek restaurants, beer at coffee shops and a great time at some local clubs and pubs.

Saturday I went out with the Swedish chicks, getting started at their wonderful Dutch apartment and after that ended up discovering Club 8 - the all-time coolest club I'd ever been to in my life - and having one of those nights that are simply too fun to be true. An hour and a half of standing in line and it was still way, way worth the wait. It seemed as if they'd taken their playlist straight from my iPod - indie and electro all night long, in the middle of a huge crowd, dancing and singing our hearts out, despite the fact that the air conditioning didn't work. Yes, still worth it.

Monday night, 23:00, home sweet home.

Packing, unpacking and soon packing again since we're leaving for Mallorca next tuesday with my folks for a week. Right now I'm still all about Amsterdam and don't really know what's going on around me.

What I do know, nonetheless, is that I'll start work tomorrow at five, after a month of being a slacker.

And also that I must return to Amsterdam some day.

Sitting, waiting, wishing.

Easter seemed to last too long to be true. Too much sleep, too much chocolate, too much food, a decent amount of alcohol (a decent amount=some, but still not enough). Thursday and friday nights were all about friends and house parties. On friday I dressed up in the most uncomfortable outfit I owned (a skirt that barely covered my ass, heels that I barely could walk in) to look like Amy Winehouse for Eeva's Dead Legends & Celebrities -party (I figured that Mrs. Winehouse is going to die within a couple of years anyways so it wouldn't make any difference. Ha.)

Besides gaining weight, easter is also the time of the year when there is no escape from spending some quality time with your family. In my case, it was at our summer cottage. Two days I could handle and it was alright, but after that I was more than ready to go home.

Yes, thank goodness easter is over.

So after all the boring chitchat talk, you actually wanna hear the good, awesome, great news?

Well, after all that complaining last week about boredom I decided to do something about it, despite the fact that no one was willing to join me. I am leaving for Amsterdam this friday for the weekend!! Got the tickets, got the hostel. Yes, all by myself. I think that a trip like this is just what I needed to avoid going insane, to get out of here for a couple of days independently to meet some new people and take photos and do thing that I feel like doing without any need to compromise. Yes, now that I think about it, that's exactly what I need.I don't think it would be even possible for me to be any more sick and tired of Helsinki. Counting down the hours...

Becoming insane.

Do you know the feeling when suddenly you just seem to lose your sanity for no proper reason at all? I don't even know what happened. No, actually, that's the thing - NOTHING has happened in the past two weeks. In fact, it's been more than two weeks, since February my life has been all about wasting time. No school, no work, no nothing. It was cool for a while, just to stay home and relax and sleep and drink and go to the gym and have friends over and go to occasional parties. But the thing is, I am NOT used to doing nothing. I mean, I always need to have something to look forward to, all the time. I need variety around me, I need to live in a place where there is always stuff to do - but Helsinki, to be honestly, has got to be the dullest capital city in the whole fucking world, at least to me. It's not warm enough to do stuff outside yet, and all people can really do is to go to movies and coffee houses and bars and clubs when they have money to. But I'm not used to a life like that, I need to travel and see the world and meet new people all the time or else I'll go insane. My job won't start before August 20 so I have to figure out something before that or else I'll seriously lose my mind in no time.

Last week was good, thou. It was when I still enjoyed doing nothing. Karo threw a party for her 20th birthday and I dressed up as a glam rocker teenager - glamorous, in a tacky way. But it was fun, for sure.

Last week I also bought 5 CD's and watched an estimated amount of 15 movies and 25 episodes of Sex and the City and 524 hours of crap on TV. I swear, one day I'll get rid of my TV, destroy it and throw it out of my window. And I will feel some unbelievable pleasure doing that. I swear.

On monday I just left, I coudn't stand anything anymore, my apartment seemed to shrink minute by minute, the walls were falling on me, there was no air for me to breathe. So I just took my car and left to see my friend who's studying in another city in Finland. Stayed for an hour and drove back.

I'm going to Mallorca April 28 with my family for a week, but even that seems too distant to be true. I need to get out of here, out of Helsinki, out of my apartment and numbness and boredom and the entire Finland, and I need to do that now. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm such a complicated personality at times, nothing seems to be enough and I know it might sound absurd to some people. I'm impatient, I'm too spontaneous and impulsive to be patient and stay still and wait for things to happen. I just can't help it. 

I wonder if I'll ever be able to make it to the level called "stable feeling of happiness".

Under the april skies.

Yesterday was just about a perfect day. As simply as that.

Got to hear such great news about my final exam results in the morning right after waking up, which sure boosted my mood straight up and I couldn't have been happier. After that Maija and I spent the whole afternoon driving around the streets of Helsinki, celebrating freedom, my final results and her brand new driving license. I could sense spring all around me, in the weather, the nature, the people passing by us. Hadn't felt that much alive in a while. 

We also accidentally (or well, "accidentally") happened to drive by Ville Valo's house. 

The peak of the day. 

In the evening all the hundreds of movie quote quizzes on Facebook made me want to do nothing but watch good, artistic and philosophical movies all night long - so I headed to Filmtown to rent a couple of DVDs. Vicky Christina Barcelona was just as good as people had told me and sure became one of my favorites ever. I simply love seeing films that move me in a way or another - this one not only made my fever to travel grow even bigger but also made me realize some things about life. Something about myself, about the world, youth and the differences between people. Mostly things that I knew already but it confirmed them, in a way.

I realized that I've made just the right choices so far in my life, I wouldn't change a thing and I have a strong feeling that I'm heading towards the right direction. Such a good feeling.

Today I'm planning on having some simple but necessary tasks to be taken care of by the end of the day.

Gym, cleaning up the apartment, taking all the empty bottles and cans to the store to be recycled, painting and finally finishing the very last art project I have left to turn in in order to graduate. Yup, sounds about right.

Tomorrow's going to be the day of shopping - there's this huge sale at the largest department store in Helsinki and I'm gonna go and look for some cheap CD's, DVD's and a new tooth brush. If I'm lucky enough I'll survive the crowd and enormous amount of people rushing around and chopping each other's heads just to get some stupid items at a low price.